Conspicuous justification

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
~Unknown

Ozarka’s not the only company doing the “green bottle” thing, but deserves a special mention. Some of their newer bottles apparently contain two grams fewer of plastic.

Two grams per bottle. Sure, sounds great, they put out a lot of god damn bottles. But seriously. What’s two grams saved when you’re wasting how many buying your water? Yes, yes, I know, the tap water tastes like ass. But if you’re going to buy water, at least buy the 2.5 gallon jugs of it.

I’ve mentioned Starbucks Water before. Basically, you spend two dollars or however much it is on the bottle of water and they give a few pennies of it to some children in Africa who don’t have access to running water. Why not just skip the god-damn middleman and give the kids the two bucks?

But it’s not about the environment or the kids in Africa. It’s about justifying the purchase of something you didn’t fucking need. It’s about looking and feeling altruistic when you’re really not. But that’s what advertising is good at. Fuck, they’ve been practicing this for god knows how many damn years. They’re very very good.

My favorite part of the Ethos bottle is the fact that the front label has two sides…the back is reversed so you can read the logo even through the back of the bottle. Look at it sometime. It just screams “conspicuous consumption.”

Again, the lesson here is: pay attention. If I wanted to, I could probably walk down the grocery shelves and pick out tons more examples of this shit. You just have to read and think.

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3 Responses to “Conspicuous justification”

  1. Falconsong Hart Says:

    “But if you’re going to buy water, at least buy the 2.5 gallon jugs of it. ”

    Feh, buy a filter for the tap. Cheaper in the long run and produces even less plastic. And it tastes just fine. in fact, most people can’t tell tap water from bottled water in a blind taste test- http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/story?id=728070&page=1 (After all, most bottled water is processed tap water anyhow so it wouldn’t taste different since it still is just tap water, would it?)

  2. I don’t really understand the bottled water thing. I drink it because it’s convenient at times, but really anyone who drinks an /adequate/ amount of water shouldn’t be able to fiscally justify a bottled water habit. C’mon people, get your gallon-to-two a day!

  3. maloyo Says:

    Ozarka water is produced in….Texas. Nothing at all wrong with Texas, but the Ozarks (the inspiration for the name) are in Missouri and Arkansas, shading just a hair into NE Oklahoma.

    Yeah, I know expecting truth in advertising from an outfit like Nestle, is way too optimistic, but still.
    maloyo

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