More nitpicking from Grist

The man who doesn’t relax and hoot a few hoots voluntarily, now and then, is in great danger of hooting hoots and standing on his head for the edification of the pathologist and trained nurse, a little later on.
~Elbert Hubbard

Yep, it’s time for Fox Bitches About Ask Umbra Again!

Today’s bitching is courtesy of Kristin:

With wedding season in full swing, what’s the best way to deal with the dreaded three-choice dinner card? It’s usually beef, salmon, or “pasta” (whatever that means!). Wedding guests cannot check on the sustainability of the choices (is the beef grass-fed? the salmon Pacific? Most likely not).

So I’m wondering, is Mystery Pasta is always the best choice to check off on that dreaded card? Are Mystery Meat and Mystery Fish equally awful choices? Or are all bets off for weddings? What’s a guest to do?

Of course, Umbra steers Kristin toward the “mystery pasta.”

My question, is, naturally, why the fuck is it such a big goddamn deal? It’s one meal among thousands you will eat in your life. Do you have to go green all day every day no matter what? Can’t you just chill the fuck out, be a human being, pick whatever option makes you happy, and enjoy yourself? No one’s putting a gun to your head and saying you have to choose the sustainable choice. You can be green at home, when you’re the one picking the meals. Don’t bitch about the options you’re getting for someone else’s wedding, for fuck’s sake.

I wish the weddings I went to had a salmon option. Hell, the weddings I go to don’t usually have options. My cousin’s wedding? Texas barbeque (wedding was in Seattle, so this was kind a big deal). There was no vegetarian option…my father puts bacon in the beans. The last wedding I went to had beef, chicken, or beans and rice for options.

This shit pisses me off because these sorts of people don’t come off as…people. They come off as shallow, two-dimensional attempts at people. They’re more concerned with being (or appearing) green than they are with participating in society or in social activities without freaking out about the napkins.

By all means, go green. Often, but not all the damn time. Occasionally take some time out of being green to just say “fuck it” and enjoy yourself without worrying too much. You can’t control everything, so just sit back, relax, and do what you can; no one’s asking you for more than that.

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One Response to “More nitpicking from Grist”

  1. Julie Says:

    Too bad you’re not coming to my niece’s wedding …we are having salmon and halibut (served “family style”) caught near Haida Gwaii .
    All at the family homestead , on the beach, weather permitting.

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