Leavin’ on a jet plane

There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.
~Orson Welles

Yeah, I’m going on vacation again. This time, however, I’m going on a full hiatus from the Ouroboros while I’m out. Yeah, I’ve got a netbook, but I’ll be posting to No Home Range, instead. Where am I going? Alaska. Yeah, that’s right, I’m going to freeze my ass off since there’s a 40 degree change in temperature between Texas and Alaska right now. At least.

This time I’m going for a carry-on to avoid having to spend $30 of my too-little spending money on checking a bag. I dislike packing a carry-on, since the TSA is full of dicks and I need extra clothes to survive weather that I would normally only experience in January and that means a lot of crap in a little bag. But I managed. The only area in which smart phones have an edge is the fact that they’re camera, phone, and mp3 player all in one. I’m having to pack all these things, and while small, they and their respective cords are just one more thing to remember. This isn’t normally a problem, except I keep picturing the TSA going “SO MANY ELECTRONIC DEVICES IT’S A BOMB IT’S A BOMB.” And then they’d scatter my carefully packed possessions all over IAH. And god forbid you say a damn thing about it, either. Literally. From their own fucking website, right here:

Think before you speak. Belligerent behavior, inappropriate jokes and threats will not be tolerated. They will result in delays and possibly missing flight departures. Local law enforcement may be called as necessary.

Emphasis theirs. Shut up, slaves, indeed. I’m not allowed to speak out about stupid TSA practices while being screened, or anywhere near TSA employees. We all just have to suffer our Freedom Fondles in silence lest we be seen as “belligerent.”

My parents really need to quit flying me to new and interesting places. I give in to the temptation every time.

Anyway, I’m going to stop there before I start getting all crack-pot on you guys. Keep an eye on No Home Range, and I’ll return again after the ten year anniversary of The Day The Government Got A Really Good Excuse To Yank More of Our Constitutionally-Derived Rights Away. So wish me luck as I get my fourth amendment right violated in the name of national security. This vacation’s off to a great start already.


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