Humana/Cigna scams customers with “admin fees” and monthly payments

I think anyone who’s ever gone through adolescence and wanted something from their parents knows the basic tenets of a con.
~Matt Bomer

I’m not allowed to pay my health insurance in six-month chunks anymore. According to my insurer, this is because Obamacare. As best I can figure, the Act (you know which one) has gotten rid of the old year-long system of health insurance in favor of month-to-month coverage.

Unfortunately, this drives prices up because customers are theoretically less stable. You sign a year-long contract, they’ve got you for the year. This is why long-term leases on apartments, etc, are a thing. You commit yourself long-term, you get a discount. That’s not a thing with health insurance anymore.

Two, it means I can’t pay for my insurance the way I want to. I liked paying my insurance six months in advance. Pay it and forget it.

Three, it means I will pay an extra $100 a year in “admin fees.” Why? Because I get paper bills, and according to Humana/Cigna, paper bills cost $10 a month. I call bullshit.

Sure, they’ll wave that fee…if I get my bill charged to a credit card (NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE) or allow them to draw the money straight out of my account.

Does this smell fishy to any of you?

It does to me, but maybe that’s because I spent an hour today on the phone trying to figure out what kind of sorcery happened to my insurance payments. Somehow their computer system randomly moved me from bi-annual payments to quarterly payments and then I was forced onto monthly payments. My only warning was a letter I got a year ago that stated I would be forced to move to monthly payments, no date given as to when, and no hint that some bizarre quarterly payment thing would happen.

This is why you shouldn’t do automatic withdrawals, people. If I hadn’t been getting paper statements, I would never have known that I was suddenly getting charged a monthly payment.

Humana/Cigna wants me to trust them enough to give them access to my bank account, but at the same time, they make themselves completely untrustworthy. The bills I get have no worthwhile information on them, the two employees I spoke with today could barely understand my question, nevermind sort out what the hell was going on. And they have the gall to request unfettered access to my checking account.

This reeks. It smells like a scam. Of course, my other options are to find a new provider (and have the same fucking problem) or drop health insurance and pay the fucking fine. The older I get the riskier going without insurance gets, and the fine is probably more than the fucking fees.

You can’t win this game. No one cares about you. The guy on the phone doesn’t care about you. The guy at the top doesn’t care about you. The guy in Washington doesn’t care about you. So just bend over. Here comes Humana/Cigna.

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